In life, we often find ourselves frustrated by the actions of others—whether it's feeling hurt by someone’s indifference, disappointed when people don’t meet our expectations, or exhausted by trying to control how others perceive us. Mel Robbins' "Let Them" theory has gained popularity for its simple yet powerful advice: If someone wants to leave, let them. If they don’t support you, let them. If they behave in a way you don’t understand, let them.
At its core, this idea is about accepting what is beyond our control and choosing peace instead of resistance. But as Muslims, we already have a deeply rooted framework for this mindset: Tawakkul (trust in Allah), Qadr (divine decree), and Ikhlas (sincerity).
Let’s explore how the "Let Them" principle aligns with Islamic teachings and how adopting this perspective can lead to greater peace, trust, and emotional freedom in our daily lives.
1. You Can’t Control People—But You Can Control Your Response
A foundational concept in Islam is that we are only responsible for our own actions, not the choices of others. The Quran reminds us:
“Whoever chooses to follow guidance, it is only for their own good. And whoever chooses to stray, it is only to their own loss. No soul burdened with sin will bear the burden of another.”
(Quran 17:15)
This means that no matter how much we wish someone would behave differently—whether it's a friend who distances themselves, a relative who disapproves of us, or a coworker who doesn’t acknowledge our efforts—their choices are their responsibility, not ours.
The Prophet ﷺ beautifully modeled this mindset. He guided people with wisdom, but when they refused to listen, he didn’t force them. Instead, he focused on his mission and left their guidance to Allah’s will.
When you feel the urge to resist someone’s behavior or wish they were different, remind yourself: Your peace is in accepting what you can control and letting go of what you can’t.
2. "Let Them" and the Power of Tawakkul (Trust in Allah)
Tawakkul is the Islamic concept of complete reliance on Allah. It’s the ultimate “Let Them” mindset—when we trust that everything that happens, even the difficult parts, is part of Allah’s perfect plan.
“And whoever puts their trust in Allah, He will be enough for them.”
(Quran 65:3)
Sometimes, we try to hold on to people who are meant to leave. We cling to relationships that no longer serve us. We seek approval from those who will never give it. But what if their exit is actually Allah’s way of protecting you?
When someone walks away from your life, let them. Instead of chasing them, turn your heart toward Allah. He is the one who truly stays.
3. Not Everyone Will Understand You—And That’s Okay
One of the most freeing realizations in life is that not everyone will support, like, or understand you—and that’s not your problem to fix.
Even the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, the most truthful and compassionate person, faced rejection, opposition, and betrayal. Yet, he remained steadfast in his mission. He did not waste time convincing people who were unwilling to see the truth.
“If they turn away, then say: ‘Allah is sufficient for me. There is no god except Him. In Him I put my trust.’”
(Quran 9:129)
When you feel the weight of being misunderstood, judged, or left out, remember: It is not your job to make everyone approve of you. It is only your job to remain sincere and seek Allah’s pleasure.
If they don’t support you, let them. If they misunderstand your intentions, let them. Your worth is not defined by their perception.
4. Letting Go of Resentment and Choosing Inner Peace
Holding onto anger, resentment, or disappointment over other people’s actions only harms us. The Prophet ﷺ advised:
“Do not hate each other, do not envy each other, and do not turn away from each other. O servants of Allah, be brothers.”
(Sahih Muslim, 2563)
Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing people to hurt us again, but it does mean freeing ourselves from carrying the burden of resentment.
If someone has wronged you, let them go—not for their sake, but for yours. Release the pain into Allah’s hands and trust that He is the Most Just, and He sees what they have done.
“Indeed, Allah commands justice, grace, and mercy…”
(Quran 16:90)
The more we let go of what we cannot change, the lighter our hearts become.
5. When "Let Them" Becomes "Let Allah"
At the heart of the "Let Them" philosophy is this: You are not losing anything when you trust in Allah.
- If someone distances themselves from you, Allah is closer than your jugular vein (Quran 50:16).
- If you lose an opportunity, Allah is the Best of Providers (Quran 62:11).
- If someone’s opinion of you changes, Allah knows what is in your heart (Quran 64:4).
Rather than chasing people, approval, or control, shift your focus:
🌿 Let them do as they will. Let Allah handle the outcome.
🌿 Let them make their choices. Let Allah replace them with better.
🌿 Let them misunderstand you. Let Allah be your witness.
True Freedom Is in Surrender
The "Let Them" mindset isn’t about being indifferent—it’s about choosing peace over resistance. It’s about accepting what is, instead of exhausting ourselves trying to change people or outcomes.
Islam teaches us that our energy is better spent focusing on what we can control: our faith, our character, and our relationship with Allah.
So the next time you feel frustration rising because of someone else’s behavior, remind yourself:
✨ Let them.
✨ Let go.
✨ Let Allah handle the rest.
And in that surrender, you will find peace beyond measure.
📌 Important Note:
The "Let Them" mindset is about letting go of unnecessary stress, unrealistic expectations, and things beyond our control. However, this does not apply to harmful, abusive, or unjust situations. If you're facing harm—whether emotional, physical, or otherwise—seeking support from trusted individuals, professionals, or community resources is crucial. Islam encourages seeking help and standing against injustice while placing our trust in Allah. If you need assistance, please reach out to those who can support you.
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