What do you think of yourself?
How do your thoughts of yourself change when you are surrounded by the best of your companions, or alone with yourself looking in the mirror?
Many of us, when we are around those who highlight the best of our strengths, have the confidence and certainty that we are on track to become what we seek to be. Conversely, sometimes when we are alone, putting time towards things we know aren't valuable or in line with our ambitions, that confidence and certainty go missing. They are replaced with self-disappointment, sadness, regret, despair, and many feelings that we are not who we thought we were, or who we could be.
Wherever you are in your life, if you occasionally experience these feelings of malice towards yourself, hold onto that feeling, we're going to come back to it.
Patience. What is it and where should we find it?
Patience is one of the hottest buzzwords in Islamic discourse over the past few decades. Commonly translated from "Sabr" we are encouraged to be a people who can withstand anything; being a people that can stay on the path no matter the obstacles. Our patience is tested by environments, events, people, and emotions constantly. As a collective, the popularized concept of patience has become limited to merely the relationship between how external stimuli make us feel, and how well we can hide our displeasure from an outside observer.
However, unfortunately, this definition of patience is extremely limited, and neglects a whole other dimension; as I am sure you guessed from the name of the article, that is, of course, internal patience. What about the patience that we ought to have for ourselves?
Narrated by Abu Huraira (RA)
"The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, although both are good. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless. If anything befalls you, do not say, ‘If only I had done such and such,’ rather say, ‘Qaddara Allahu wa ma sha'a fa'ala (Allah has decreed, and whatever He wills, He does).’ For saying ‘If’ opens the door to the deeds of Satan.” (Ibn Majah 79)
Abu Huraira reported: Some of the companions came to the Prophet ﷺ and said, “We find within ourselves that which is too grievous to speak of.” The Prophet asked, “You have indeed found it so?” They replied yes. The Prophet then said, “That is pure faith.” (Sahih Muslim 132)
The lesser discussed side of patience
These two hadith highlight that at one point or another, we may feel or think so lowly of ourselves that we are doomed, and that we may never be the version of ourselves we had envisioned when times were better.
We are encouraged not to feel helpless; we should not continuously repeat thoughts and ideas to ourselves that perpetuate this feeling. We ought to be patient with ourselves, knowing that even a man who killed a hundred people was still redeemable in the eyes of Allah because of his sincere intentions to improve, though he never had the chance to.
We also find that even the best of humanity, the companions of the Prophet ﷺ found internal issues with themselves that they wrestled with. His responding by telling them that it is pure faith is a reminder to us that the awareness of our weaknesses in character, ibadah, intention, or anything else is a testament to our desire to improve and wish to be better. That on it's own is extremely valuable.
Our treatment of ourselves in Ramadan
During Ramadan, where we hear of a million ways that others are improving themselves and their worship and habits, we may begin to feel left behind. We may begin to feel helpless, hopeless, and frustrated with ourselves. A reminder to all of us is that patience does not begin and end with how we interact with others; it is also how we interact with ourselves.
We should practice being patient with ourselves because that is also accepting the decree of Allah for the situation and environment He has put us in. Our hastiness to be better in sincerity and worship is a redeeming quality, but it should not go so far as to lose sight that we are the slaves of Allah, and we practice gratitude to Him for every situation.
May Allah SWT give us patience with others and with ourselves, and May He grant us the best of what he hope for this Ramadan, and allow us to continuously seek Him until it comes our time to meet.
Written by Cameron Neary
