How I’m Rememorizing the Quran After Forgetting It

There’s a unique kind of nostalgia that tugs at your heart when you remember the days when the Quran was the very center of your life. For me, those days began in a way that many of you might find both familiar and inspiring.

A Childhood Immersed in the Divine

Growing up, my parents ensured that my siblings and I were immersed in the beauty of the Quran. When I was in Grade 3, our family moved to Egypt—a decision that turned out to be a tremendous blessing. I reveled in the daily sound of the adhan, the vibrant community of believers, and the lessons that the Quran taught me. Despite a few hiccups—like the motion sickness on bus rides—the at-home tutoring that covered Arabic, Quran, and other subjects filled my early years with light and guidance. I still thank Allah for those formative experiences, and I pray that He increases my parents in goodness both in this world and the next.

The Rhythm of Remembrance

Returning to Toronto at around age 10, I was immediately enrolled in a full-time hifz program. My days were beautifully structured around the Quran—homeschooling in the morning, intensive Quran classes at noon, and online sessions with an Egyptian teacher in the evening. I remember the evenings vividly: listening to Sh. Sudais recite the pages I was trying to memorize, repeating them over and over, and waking up at 3 am with a heart full of determination. Every day, the Quran was not just a subject to study—it was a way of life. I like to think of that younger version of myself as a spark that still burns brightly within me.

The Struggle: Guilt, Disconnection, and the Burden of “Incompletion”

Even after completing my memorization at 12, a feeling of incompleteness haunted me. Instead of rejoicing in becoming a hafizah, I felt an overwhelming guilt. I remembered a warning I once heard—that every letter forgotten by a hafiz would be a source of punishment. This false notion, compounded by the pressure of being labeled “hafiza” wherever I went, gradually pushed me away from my beloved Quran. High school brought its own challenges, and I found myself drifting away, disconnected from the deen that had once been my solace.

A Transformative Encounter in the Heart of Mecca

The turning point came during a life-changing Umrah trip in Grade 11. Standing in Masjid Al Haram, I felt the weight of every missed opportunity and every moment of neglect. In the sacred silence of the Fajr salah, when Sh. Sudais led the prayer, a surge of emotions overtook me. I cried—tears of regret, of longing, and of a renewed hope. I remember the imam’s call, “Istaww,” and my mom was like, “Kareema, it’s Sh. Sudais!” was like “Kareema! It's Sh. Sudais” and I was like “Allahu Akbarr, no way” and put my phone down to record it.” 

That salah was probably the one prayer in my life during which I cried from start to finish—even crying on our way to the hotel room to pack our things. It wasn’t just about him leading the prayer; it took me back to my Quran journey—the days I spent listening to Sh. Sudais for memorization, the times it got tough when I didn’t pass, the moments when my mom, exhausted yet determined, still took us to class, and my dad who, despite financial struggles, made sure we never missed out. I wept with guilt for having abandoned the Quran—Allah’s words truly pierced my heart. The Sheikh recited an ayah from Surah At-Tariyat, verse 50, where Allah says, “فَفِرُّوٓا۟ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ ۖ  - “Go back to Allah,” and subhanAllah, from that moment on, I vowed to at least never miss a salah again.

Rediscovering the Path: From Corporate Life Back to the Quran

As I navigated university and later a corporate career, I often felt that something essential was missing. Every Ramadan, despite the celebratory mood, I could sense the absence of my true home—the Quran. A heartfelt conversation with a wise lady reminded me that knowing how to read the Quran is a divine gift, one that deserves to be cherished and nurtured. That conversation sparked a new beginning.

In December 2023, a masterclass by Sh. Jamal Abdinasir in Toronto ignited the flame of my Quranic journey once more. I immediately searched for an in-person teacher and discovered a nearby masjid offering classes led by a kind soul who also taught in Masjid An Nabawi. Despite the classes coinciding with my work hours, working from home allowed me to attend and reconnect with my roots. It wasn’t just about memorizing again—it was about rebuilding a relationship with the Quran, piece by piece, with quality over quantity.

Embracing a New Role: From Student to Teacher

Life has its own way of guiding us back to what truly matters. In a beautiful twist of fate, I am now a teacher at an Islamic Weekend School—a role that fills me with both responsibility and joy. Every lesson I teach is a reminder that education isn’t just about textbooks and tests; it’s about igniting a passion for the Quran and nurturing the hearts of those who seek knowledge.

Teaching has become more than a career for me—it’s a calling. I’ve come to see that my own journey of memorization and rediscovery is the perfect backdrop for inspiring others. I am now exploring a career shift into full-time teaching, a move that feels as natural as breathing. And in my heart, I even dream of one day moving to Doha—a city that I once visited and left my piece of me in. This new chapter is a testament to how Allah’s guidance can transform even our most challenging moments into opportunities for growth and renewal.

Embracing Modern Tools and Timeless Wisdom

In my renewed journey, I’ve also embraced tools like the Tarteel app, which uses AI to help me perfect my memorization. This blend of technology and tradition has made my hifz journey stronger and more precise, reinforcing that the path to Allah is ever-evolving yet timeless.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,
"The best among you are those who learn the Quran and teach it."– [Sahih al-Bukhari]​

This hadith encapsulates my journey perfectly. It’s not merely about the act of memorization but about immersing ourselves in Allah’s words and sharing that light with others. As I move forward into teaching and possibly a new chapter in Doha, I am reminded that every effort to spread knowledge is an act of worship.

A Lesson for Every Heart

My story is a testimony that the journey with the Quran is not a straight path. There are moments of immense dedication and periods of disconnection and guilt. Yet, Allah’s mercy is vast and His opportunities for renewal endless. I learned that it’s never too late to return to the Quran, to reclaim the beauty and wisdom that once shaped our lives. Whether you’re a hafiz or someone looking to reconnect with the divine words of Allah, remember: every step back to the Quran is a step toward rediscovering your purpose.

May Allah guide us all on this beautiful journey—whether as students, teachers, or seekers of knowledge—and grant us success in every step of our lives, both in this world and in the hereafter.

By Kareema H.